As Long as You Are Happy
Success is Yours to Decide [13]:
Hi dear friends,
This past weekend I had the chance to volunteer at a local high school in Austin, watching high school seniors presenting their year long science projects and giving feedback. As a recent college graduate and newly labelled adult, I felt quite unqualified being in such position for I wasn’t too long ago in the same seat.
I however had the chance to meet many interesting people. A woman I met, let’s call her Jill, told me about her daughter who is majoring in wildlife biology. Jill’s daughter wants to go to vet school and complete her PhD so she can fulfill her dream of taking care of big cats in the wild (think tigers, lions, jaguars, all those sorts). The daughter said: “Mom, I will have to go to a lot of school and I won’t make a lot of money.” Jill replied: “I don’t care, you can do whatever you want, as long as you are happy.”
Unbeknownst to her, this harmless conversation opened a floodgates of thoughts for me. In what world does a parent confidently say something like this? And how lucky Jill’s daughter is to have such a supportive mother.
On my part, I have been tumbling with the idea of success for as long as I could remember, more so recently. How do one measure success once she exits the educational system? When there are no more GPA, assignment grades, and project presentations; no more formal rubric, requirements and feedback system from college professors in place. Do I measure my success by the easily quantifiable: salary, net worth, number of successful personal projects or business ventures, the ranking of my employer, etc. or do I rely on my own yardstick of personal life satisfaction.
Ideally, one should define their own’s concept of success. Mine lately has been a moving goal post that runs from me each time I saw an acquaintance’s personal announcement on social media. From friends completing marathon, getting accepted into a prestigious PhD program to trying out a full fledged “exploratory year” post graduation. Do I want to be everything that my friends are? Probably not. But do I want to achieve something that can rise up to that level of accomplishment, may be.
In a moment of my weekly Sunday scare, I stumbled upon an interesting quote: “Remove the idea that someone else’s accomplishments need to be added to your to-do list.” The words shook me awake.
The Dalai Lama has said “The planet does not need more successful people. The planet desperately needs more peacemakers, healers, restorers, storytellers and lovers of all kinds.” Looking inward, the most influential and transformative individuals in my life were those who live and lead with empathy and grace. Those who carry intense curiosity, originality and intention in their presence. Those who can inject humor and light heartedness in conversations. Those who lift others as they go.
If success for you means shouting from the rooftops and recruiting people to join your causes, so be it; But if success for you means living a still life with simple moments: joy from a meandering walk or over a cozy meal with loved ones, than own it as well.
As long as you are happy.