consistency
our worst enemy and best friend [60]:
The best and most regrettable thing that happened to me (that I am in control of) was thanks to consistency or the lack thereof. I like to write about consistency so much because it is a virtue that I am still perfecting. Consistency is simple that it is boring but through consistency, compounded efforts are created that can change lives.
When I count back the years that I dedicated to learning English, it took me ten years to get to a level of comfort with the language. And the seven years since then, I have continued to learn and I am still learning it every day. There are many nuances to a language that I am still in awe of how much I don’t know. I volunteered at a hospital where I had to answer the phones: from patients, their family members, doctors, you name it. Challenges with the speed, figure of speech, different terminology still take me aback as I spend more time doing the job. I had never talked on the phone in English as much as I am now but that is a new skill that I continued to develop as I spend my seventeenth year learning this language. Mentoring elementary students whose first language is not English brings another set of challenges. Not only do I need to speak so that a fourth grader can understand me but also need to speak in a way that is simple enough for a Spanish native speaker to quickly grasp. Learning how to simplify my words and explanation is another skill I got to pick up.
On a similar note, I started lifting weights in 2016 and have been practicing the same for seven years. There would be periods where I go months without seeing the inside of a gym due to moving, busy work schedule, or traveling but I eventually ease myself into the routine. I am nowhere near being an expert but I have gotten to the point where I am comfortable navigating a tiny apartment gym or a fancy one with rows of shiny equipment. I know what exercises can work the hamstrings, triceps or lats. I know my weight limits and how often can I go up in weight with my progressive overload. I know how long I should keep a workout session and how to cut one short if I have less than an hour. That is to say, there are still aspects of weight lifting that I am not familiar with: I have not done a proper heavy deadlift, or manage to do an unassisted pull-up, my forms can still be better.
Whether with a skill, language, sport, or form of art, mastery takes more time and consistency than we projected it would. Even though consistency might feel bland or repetitive in the short term, it builds momentum for rewards further down the road.
Good habits have saved my life. The practice of exercising frequently, eating a good split of macronutrients, and going to bed earlier instead of 2 am has alleviated my ever-creeping mental health issues. In my junior year of college, daily yoga was the one thing that grounded me when everything else went haywire. Consistency has given me the momentum to write this newsletter, read more books than I have ever had, keep in touch and make friends with new people, tolerate shitty jobs and shitty people.
I used to fantasize about being really good at playing musical instruments: piano, ukulele, guitar, you name it. After all, I love music: listening, tapping and singing along, dancing by myself to the songs.
I am mesmerized by my friends’ musical abilities: the smoothness of a complex piece’s performance, the harmony, the precise length and staccato of each note, the way they are engrossed during the process. I didn’t realize then that playing an instrument well requires a high level of precision, rigidity, and discipline. It took me some time to accept, but I am happy to let go the dream of being great at instruments. For me, the process of practicing a piece so much renders the music uninteresting. I don’t love the process so aiming for mastery doesn’t make sense. (I did in fact learned the piano for a few years but never found a true interest in taking it to the next level)
If you want to be good at something, you got to enjoy the process. You can’t aspire to be at that endpoint without loving the middle part: the ugly, the toiling, the seemingly futile efforts that provide little immediate gratification. Say you are thinking about becoming a writer, you should expect to tolerate writer’s block, laziness, slow growth, the feeling of no-one-is-reading-your-work pain. But even after all that, if you still enjoy writing, you are golden. A moment of glory burns brightly then goes out. The day-to-day is what you have and to love it is to have every day as your favorite day.
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My favorite part👌🏾
“If you want to be good at something, you got to enjoy the process. You can’t aspire to be at that endpoint without loving the middle part: the ugly, the toiling, the seemingly futile efforts that provide little immediate gratification.”
"The best and most regrettable thing that happened to me (that I am in control of) was thanks to consistency or the lack thereof." what an intro! I relate to this deeply. Harnessing the power of consistency is what has really brought so much positive change in my life. Things that look like they were built in months actually took years. I wish this was a lesson I could apply immediately to anything I want to do but unfortunately it's one I have to learn over and over again. I loved your anecdote about learning and teaching English. It really highlights all the nuances there are in learning something new and that mastery is a decades long play, not months or years.
Also, totally related to the section about music! Earlier this year I was like, "how can I get better at playing the piano if it's not a priority?" Not in a way that self aware, like I genuinely believed I could passively get better at it. But I also realized it's hard to do if it's not something I want to focus on.