feeling human again
you are fragile, handle with care [62]:
Hi friends,
Thank you for being patient as I reserve time to work through my non-writing life. Rest is needed every once in a while and I have been needing a lot of it.
I am here this week with some tools and personal reflection that I have been collecting in the time that I am on rest mode. Rule of thumb I might use with rest going forward is I will give myself rest until I have no desire to overcompensate with work. Work will always be there but life is not. You are fragile, so take care.
Five accessible tools for taking care of mental health in a tough time:
Go back to what has worked
When you are down, upset, fatigued, identify what in the past has helped alleviate those emotions. Is it going outside for a walk, calling a good friend, doing meditation? Resorting to past coping mechanisms always helps me in some extent.
Lately it has been reading a comfort book (The Midnight Library), watching an empathetic video or following Yoga with Adriene. When you are calm or happy, try to make a list of activities and people that can help to use in tough moments.
Take one moment at a time
Break down an experience, a day, a tough endeavor into smaller chunks so you can process it properly without being overwhelmed. It is easier to overcome the next fifteen minutes than the next seven hours. It is easier to overcome the next week then the next three months.
Overwhelmed with how uncertain the future looks, how about getting through this month first? Overwhelmed with the laundry list of things you have to fulfill in the next week, prioritize today, one day and move on. Take one day, half a day, an hour, fifteen minutes, at a time. You can overcome this.
Step out of yourself
Do you get caught up in spirals of overthinking that you can’t seem to find a way out? May be try step out of that state a bit as if you are someone else and are observing your reaction.
Take a more objective stance, being aware of how you are feeling. Your feelings are not you.Try point out that you are overthinking or following a certain thought patern, The key is to acknowledge and see your reaction for what it is before learning how to deal with it. You are not your feeling.
Talk to someone
Everyone is different in seeking help but personally nothing has helped me more than talking to another person. It’s rare to find a person who can lend an empathetic ear and loving attitude towards what you are going through.
May be you just need someone to listen, you don’t need a solution. May be you need somone to help you form a plan. If you have the means, I would highly recommend seeing a mental health professional (therapist, psychiatrist) but if that is not accessible, a friend, or trusted loved one might help relieve the emotional burden.
Let time help you
A tough pill to swallow but accepting that nothing is permanent might help you go through a period of hardship (this does not apply to extreme cases where you need to seek help and get out immediately)
This will shall pass. The years you are away from your family or partner, shitty jobs, shitty boss, loneliness, uncertainty, quarter-life crisis, midlife crisis, none of these experiences will last forever. That is life’s truth and no one can take that away from you.
Rest, a lot if possible
I am leaving you with this last tip because I don’t know how applicable and useful this can be. Each of us have different capacity to afford rest and each of us requires varying amount of it.
I however want to highlight the necessity of giving yourself some rest: mentally, physically, emotionally. Say yes to offers for help, take that damn PTO day(s), plan a vacation, be unproductive for a period of time (whatever works with your life). You don’t have to be on top everything all the time. You can let things slack off for a bit because you are human. Few things are ever that urgent.
You deserve some rest. I love you.
I hope you are well. Summer is here for us northen hemisphere dwellers and that should mean we could all benefit from more daylight, a treasure.
I will see you soon x
Leave me a comment if you are inclined :)
I needed this too: « I will give myself rest until I have no desire to overcompensate with work. » Take care 🧸