take care of yourself please

a gentle reminder to slow down [44]:

Hello sweet reader,

I am writing from Austin, Texas on the first day of December. I have had a few consecutive busy busy weeks that have made me forget the importance of slowing down and taking care of myself. Between working, writing, volunteering, and doing multiple discovery projects on the side, I have been longing for a peaceful period (yet have had little luck).

I turn inward and try to cultivate my peace from within. So now that I can’t control how much work my boss decides to throw at me, or the fact that I have to write every week and read extensively so I can write better, I can at least shift my priorities around so I can function better and more importantly, live well.

I think when I am emotionally and physically unwell, I am a terrible human being to be around. I told my friend that November is a to-hell-with-all-of-my-relationships month, where I abandoned and challenged a lot of my connections. Another friend and I discussed how we tend to eat shitty foods and regress into couch potatoes when we are stressed. Giving ways to bad habits chronically feeds into a cycle of feeling shitty, becoming more stressed, and doing those same bad habits all over again.

What I learned this year from participating in the modern capitalist grind and hamster wheel:

The busier you get, the more you need to take care of youself

Most days, I try my best to write from a state of abundance. As a writer who sources inspiration largely from my life, I find it hard for my creative work to be enjoyable when I am not in my best state. In fact, my two most popular essays here and here were written when I was drunk in love (for life! that is hehe). I can do my best creative work when I am not burned out, exhausted, or running in circles.

When we are upset, we can not show up as our best selves. I think we all experience the feeling whether we create art or not. After hundreds of flights and safety videos where the help yourself first oxygen mask requirement never clicks, it begins to make sense to me why one needs to help themself first before assisting others. The same thing applies to life.

Sometimes, a step back is needed for a few steps forward. I like how my favorite meditation teacher Meg Josephson talks in this 10-minute meditation video: “Give yourself permission to step away from your to-do list and emails just for this ten minutes time. Taking this time for yourself will make you even more productive.” Not that we need more productivity but you know what I mean.

I came up with a FRAMEWORK on wellness for easy visualization:

The Wellness Framework 1.0

1. Establish a goodful routine

This will be the bedrock of your well being. As humans we operate on default mode when possible - aka the habits we have built. We are lazy, we are mentally exhausted and challenged with the daily demands already. We don’t want to actively plan for every single activity.

This is where you need to create a strong foundation for your wellbeing. Find what feels good to you and make them non-negotiables. Personally for me that would be cooking and eating enough and on time, sleeping reasonable hours, lots of outdoor walking, talking to my friends on the phone and IRL when I see them.

2. Prioritize

I like to do this top-down, first in bigger categories (think health, relationships, career, etc.) and within each of those buckets, break them down further. With multiple tasks, consider using the Eisenhower matrix to organize your tasks based on importance and urgency.

For example:

Big categories:

Health > Relationships > Work

Within health:

Sleep > Eat > Exercise > Meditation

3. Accept this one truth

Most things are not urgent!!! I cannot stress this enough. With the exception of you being a doctor or politician, I do not think there are many occasions that require truly critical responses. If you are feeling overwhelmed at work, take a break, ask for a breather space. I guarantee that no matter how important you think you are, your boss can replace you in a heartbeat if need be.

You are scheduled to hang out with friends but are drained from a long work week? Reschedule it to another time (within a reasonable timeline and profuse apologies are recommended)

4. Have fun

Pursue true pure fun, preferably not tied to any external validation or rewards. It is good practice to have a non-competitive, non-productive hobby or activity. I like to go to coffee shops to read and write, especially on a windy day - that’s my kind of fun. Yours can be doodling, singing, going to the museums, public speaking, teaching, dancing, building. Always make room for fun.

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Big List Energy

I am a big believer in lists. Lists are great for saving time and brain power. These are some ideas for wellness lists you can keep:

• Mood booster activities

• Friends to reach out to when you are spiraling

• Feel good movies

• Feel good playlists

• Feel good recipes

• Feel good essays

• Peaceful outdoor spots you can visit to clear the mind

I hope you are well and I hope you are taking care of yourself. Leave a comment on a wellness tip you keep near and dear to your heart.

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