choose perseverance
the only way out is through [55]:
a reminder we all need
Recently my high school friend
wrote about her experience with uncertainty and control (in Vietnamese) as her employer laid off a large percentage of their workforce. One thing I am reminded of from her essay is that the only constant in life is change.You can’t hold onto good things forever even if you beg and try your darndest best to hold on to them.
You also don’t experience low periods for an eternity even if in the moment they feel like never ending.
Truth be told, I feel like I am going through a flop era where many things are not how I like them to be. As much as I wish things could be different, I couldn’t refuse the cards I am dealt with that had happened to me in the past as well as the things I am going through in the present.
The easy thing to do would be to throw fits and announce my intention to quit, which I have done admittedly several times last year. I can quit my job right now. I can abandon my degree and pursue something else right now. I can quit living this life where I am alone most of the time, 8500 miles away from the people who understand me the most. I can choose a life where I don’t cry every week or feel uncertain about my future constantly. I can choose a life where I don’t miss out on quality time with my family.
I almost did but I didn’t. I have seen how my decision to keep going in the past has pushed me to be a better version of myself. And so even when it can be painful in the present, I choose to hold on.
A simplified version of this realization is how the gym becomes my mental haven. I go to the gym when I need to clear my mind and feel stronger. But it has not always been this way. There was a period when the gym felt intimidating and stressful more than anything.
My mom brought me to the gym when I was in 11th grade. I was tall and scrawny, hands flailing around. I had a hunch back, was awkward, and couldn’t stand being in a narrow space with strangers lifting things and screaming while they are at it. I was intimidated and self-conscious about using any machine because I didn’t know how it worked. And I especially disliked when random people came to explain what the correct way was.
Somehow I kept up with it as I had extra free time after my college application period ended. I started scouring the internet for fitness content: from Youtube videos to blog posts and fitness apps. Even though I preferred playing badminton or basketball outside, there was something reliable about going to the gym, for instance the lack of need for at least another person to play with, or that I can work out regardless of the weather. Working out also makes me feel very good; I am full of endorphins each time I am done. At 17, my obsession made me spend 15 minutes before every workout session analyzing the right postures and memorizing the correct movements and pitfalls to avoid injuries. I went to the gym four times a week. Then I kept up at it in college, going to the gym rain or shine.
From being really difficult and anxiety-inducing, going to the gym eventually feels good. It feels great, like a familiar route I get to school. The mere act feels like home, a predictable activity to fall back on whether I am in Hanoi, Brisbane, or Austin.
For one, perseverance brought me a valuable lifelong tool.
In my journey finding role models for the highest form of perseverance, I discovered Philip Doyle, an Olympic athlete and a medical doctor in the UK. In an Instagram post, Philip shared a video where people ask him if he finds indoor rowing hard, and he said yes. I would think someone as skilled as an athlete wouldn’t find his own sport hard but rather easy, effortless, smooth. My apologies for making a far-fetched conclusion but if an internationally recognized rower still finds his practice hard, most of us don’t have good reasons to quit hard things.
Is it not coincident that the people who we respect most in society are those that possess high perseverance: doctors, nurses, firefighters, scientists, teachers, professional musicians, athletes? We revere them because they hold deep commitment to their craft and education, despite the grunting hours and working conditions.
When you persevere, you respect yourself first by increasing your own credibility. If you can provide the evidence that yes you can show up and you can do the work when things suck and are ugly, you trust yourself when you dream bigger. Then you allow others to give you the respect you have rightfully earned.
Sometimes you leave the things that bring you pain but other times you stick it out until they become less painful. I hope you find the discipline to continue with your journey today, let’s keep each other going!
If you like this essay, you may also like this one on commitment or this one on better goal setting.
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Love your advice Minh
"When you persevere, you respect yourself first by increasing your own credibility." oof yes what a conclusion! Great reflection.